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Diary

When Spells No Longer Work

 

We all have been there, believe me. Though our circumstances differ, we all have been in that dark stage of our lives when we have truly loved and the person no longer wanted the same thing. Worse, he or she no longer recognizes whatever you two had. We said everything we thought would repair what has been damaged and did the unthinkable. We even talked to the most reputable love psychic readers, but to no avail. That is the time when we realize that the battle has been waged and we lost it. Picking yourself up after a big and painful breakup can be too difficult. Today we will provide some small and easy ways to continue and move on with your life—without the baggage and pains of the past.

Respect the process of moving on.

Healing yourself is not like switching the lights on and off. It will take time and most of the time you will feel bad. That is okay as it is part of the process. Respecting the process of moving on is realizing that you cannot heal yourself overnight. Sooner or later you will feel that the breakup is hurting you less and less. Then when nothing no longer bothers you (even after seeing that photo of you together, smiling), you will have realized that you have truly moved on.

Use your time doing what you love.

Do you enjoy watching action movies or reading science fiction novels? Then, by all means, go ahead! By doing this, you are using your time wisely doing the things that you love while subtly ignoring what happened to you. These activities takes your mind off of the pain of the breakup. Are there things that you wanted to do but you could not since your partner was too restrictive? Then what better time to do it now that you are single? Go on a road trip! Roll the windows down, and feel the freedom this breakup has given you. You will know that you do not need someone else to complete you but yourself.

Start working out.

Perhaps you have been too complacent when you were still in a relationship that your partner will love you for who you really are and no matter how your size has changed from small to medium in just two months. It is time to sweat yourself out by taking on a new hobby. You can try running, swimming, badminton, or biking. By releasing those sweats and getting back in shape, you will feel good about yourself—inside and out. Exercising also lets you release those feelings of anger and hatred that have bottled up.

Never overanalyze.

Some people make it a habit to dwell on the past for a long time. Do not be one of them. It is a waste of time and overanalyzing will eventually lead to either two things: one, obsessing over your ex or two, getting yourself paranoid. Both will not be good for you. Do not focus on the things that you might have done wrong. Think about the happy times that you shared together. Think about the times you were there for him or her when no else was. Take the time to appreciate his or her love no matter how it is over now. Learn to understand that everything happens for a reason; that life is not a fairy tale, but you will find someone who will love you for who you are. It may not be now, but in the future.

Go out with friends

Go out with friends.

When we are in a relationship, we tend to set aside other people especially our closest friends—which is not at all bad, but never advisable. You do not want your friends to tell you that you only talk to them when you are heartbroken. Go out with them now that you are single and laugh as hard as you can. Spend your time in the mall or go sing your hearts out in the karaoke bar. Despite what you think, your friends will know what you are going through. And better yet, they will know how to help you heal your heart. These people know you like the back of their hands. Trust them to help you especially in time of your need.

When Spells No Longer Work: How to Move On and Heal Your Heart

Start removing his or her stuff from your life.

When you feel that the breakup no longer hurts you the way it does before, then perhaps you are ready to say goodbye to his or her personal effects. Stuff his or her things in a box including your photos together, shirts, books, etc. While you are doing this, it is normal to feel a little bit emotional as these things will remind you of your happy times. Try to detach yourself from these things. By doing this, you are beginning a new era for yourself—and that you are truly, finally moving on.

Shut down your social media accounts.

You cannot help but attract people who would only like to gossip. They would reach out to you via Facebook and console you, but in reality, they only really wanted to gossip. Disconnecting yourself from these social media accounts will do you good. It also saves you from seeing his or her photos online, especially when he or she has already found someone else. This is not to say that your accounts will be shut down permanently. You can always turn them back on once you feel you are feeling a lot better than before.

So there you have them! We know that moving on is not an easy thing. Oftentimes, it can be really depressing, messy, and difficult. However, acknowledge the fact that there is no shortcut here. All we can do is put our pain and energy into something useful until that pain is no longer. To quote a popular saying, it is better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all. We hope these things help you soothe your aching heart. If you wish to share your story, you can leave your comments down below. We would love to hear from you!

Images by unsplash and johnhain under Public Domain CC0

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